the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize