when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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