Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
