Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize