Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize