If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
