It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
