who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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