Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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