My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
