She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize