He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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