so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
