She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
