Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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