wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
