haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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