Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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