you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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