whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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