i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
