I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
