My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
