Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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