Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
