Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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