I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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