at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
