OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
