How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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