Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
