Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
