its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize