There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize