i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
