just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
