I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
