Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize