oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
