Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
