the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
being pregnant is like rehab
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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