The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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