i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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