Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
