did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
