Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
