some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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