I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
