Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Mom said you looked used
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
