Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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