her vagine was all disorganized.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
