dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
