hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
