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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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