well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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