I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
