he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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