So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
