I must be too annoying 4 u.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
